My partner and I have been in a Long-term relationship since I was a teenager. We have lived together from pretty much the beginning of all of it and are excited to be planning our Wedding and preparing for a family. Our happiness doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work on our partnership, it’s quite the contrary actually. Every single day challenges are being put in our way which we have to overcome and work through but we always come out stronger in the end.
Honesty has been a massive part in our Relationship from the beginning. We both have agreed that being honest with each other should be our number one rule. This way our partnership was strong from the start and we never had to wonder what was going on in each others lives. It has opened up a more vulnerable way of being together, which means that we were able to trust each other more from the start, but also felt more comfortable being with each other.
I have seen many Relationships breaking up because one person saw it as an invasion of privacy to go on their partner’s phone or read through their messages. This should not be the case. Another thing we both did a few months into the relationship was to know each other’s passwords to social media accounts, computers and phones. This again shows trust and comfort with the other person. Now, a few years down the line, we both have each other’s social media accounts on our individual phones and constantly use each others’ phones. We are completely transparent who we are in contact with and what kind of things we talk to our friends about.
#3 Don’t hide your past
We both came with baggage and neither was easy to deal with. This included trust issues, family problems, but also exes to name a few. From the start, I took an interest in his past, but so did he. This way we made it abundantly clear that neither of us was perfect, but it also showed that we weren’t alone to deal with our inner demons anymore. A stronger bond of trust was formed as a result and we both knew what to expect moving forward in the relationship. Because we had this existing mindset of ‘All or Nothing’, it helped us overcome obstacles along the way of building our future together.
#4 Do what makes you Happy
Often when starting a new relationship, family and friends can be very vocal about certain things. I experienced that myself. I felt like I couldn’t be completely honest about a lot of aspects concerning my partnership. This resulted in lies being told and the connection being hidden from public sight completely until I felt too drained to keep the pretence up. I never say don’t take your family and friend’s feelings into account because they do mean well, but never do what they say because you feel obligated to. Parents can be a massive factor in this. Let’s face it, nobody is right for their baby. Be selfish in this matter and give the feelings you have for somebody a shot, it might just work out. Adapt the mindset of: ‘I have to live with my choices, not my friends or family. I am the one who is in this relationship, not them.’ If they truly love you, one day they will understand.
#5 Always be Yourself
Many feel like they have to be somebody else in order to either ‘wow’ them or ‘keep’ them. This is not true! Be completely honest and show them the real you. Trust me, they are going to fall in love. I felt like I could always be myself around my partner and that’s what had a massive impact in knowing he is the One. If I felt like I constantly had to pretend and keep up a different persona just to keep him interested, I wouldn’t feel safe and it would never be real. Don’t do this to yourself and always show your true self.
#6 Don’t be afraid to speak your Mind. Communicate!
You should never be afraid to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. If your partner truly loves you, he/she will make the effort to try and work it out in order to make you both feel more comfortable. Speak up if something is bothering you, because communication is key!
It is important to find a balance of compromise in a healthy relationship. It shouldn’t be one-sided. Both partners should be equal and feel like the other person is trying to accommodate their habits, moods and hobbies. We compromise all the time and this way we get to share the things we love with each other by spending time together and further building on our connection.
I am not a relationship expert but these 7 things are super important to me in my relationship and I wouldn’t feel comfortable if we didn’t appreciate each other the way we do. This might not work for everyone but it has worked for us. We still tell each other multiple times a day how much we love each other and how happy we are to be together.